So, here we are again.

I've missed you.

Not really.

I feel a need to force my very strong opinions and thoughts on others.

Lucky you.

Lately, things have been grating on my last nerve.

Are you surprised?

People taking up two spaces in the grocery store parking lot,

Facebook posts involving snow,

smiley, happy people (or more the facade),

breathing.

Generally, I keep to myself and give off that

"Don't Fuck With Me" vibe.

You would think that would ward off the crazies right?

No.

They come at me from all directions.

"Hello" they say, "Looks like you could use a hug".

No.

Do I look like the "huggable" type?

"Are those your children?"

No.

I'm just walking around the store collecting them.

As irritating as getting stung by jellyfish and not having a full bladder to put out the flames.

Those are just the strangers.

It's the acquaintances that suck the ever loving life out of me.

For instance,

Agreeing with everything I post, or better yet, ignoring me.

How could you "like" that shit about getting woken up early but NOT SAY ANYTHING about the FedEx guy getting humped by the neighbors sheep for 20 minutes!

Come on people, find your pulse.

How about that girl that used to hunt you down everyday just to kick your ass, wanting you to accept her friend request because "It's been so long!".

No.

I knew when to stuff myself in a locker from the height of her Aqua Net sprayed hair.

(her and her minions)

She is the only reason I now know a thousand ways to hide a body and not get caught.

I've practiced just hoping to run into her.

Joking.

Or am I?

*smiley face*

Gag.

I've had it with the whining.

No, I do not want to hear about how fat you are.

I could care less as to what percentage of fat is in the milk your husband brought home.

Will any of us get through the day without knowing about your cramps?

Republican?

Don't give a shit.

Have the flu?

Need to know basis, like I need to know if I have had my tongue in your mouth.

Did I post about the random piece of ass I got last weekend?

No.

Then for the love of all that is holy, keep your mating rituals to yourself!

(unless it"s porn material and you think I haven't done it)

Anyway.