For way too long, I have trolled through CL.
Every time I think I have seen it all,
there is something that comes up that should surprise me.
It doesn't. Am I the only one?
Are we collectively desensitized?
Is it my generation?
Life experience maybe?
I don't know. Often there are sincere posts that seem to beg for a kind
response, in turn the poster is criticized for spelling,
grammar, choice of words or topic. I must admit, I have
started to respond to many, only to delete it before I
click on "SEND". I talk myself out of these "e-mail hugs"
with no difficulty. After all, they might not want my
sympathy, advice or shoulder. Just maybe they want
my e-mail address to steal my miserable existence or
shitty credit. You have your serial pet owners. You know, the ones
that "love their pet SO much" but cant take it with them
when they move so they will screen potential adopters
and begrudgingly accept an astronomical "RE-HOMING
FEE". I'd like to cage their worthless asses while I
"RE-HOME" them. Then there is the personals. Yes, I read all the categories.
(It's a good time with the right popcorn that makes me
feel all warm and fuzzy inside.) The women for the most
part, seem desperate and/or brainless, the men,
(999 out of 1000) seem callous and pompous.
I don't think that there is a hope for anyone finding
anything real on CL. The potential for a temporary
piece of ass that will require a good dose of Penicillin
looks really promising though! Perhaps we could gather all the nursing and submissive
men together so the lactating dominatrix women can
find them easily. (and that way, the spanking, sugar
daddies wont feel the need to bully them because of their
mommy issues) Could we also put the rich, man-hating,
angry lesbians with the woman-hating, overworked,
underpaid hetero men? (there is really no match-
making reason for this, I have just found Ultimate
Fighting a tad bit wimpy as of late and thought we
could shake things up a little.) And I'd like to give a
shout out to those people that require their mate to
be physically fit, because THEY workout 5x a week,
(that must be extra muscle hanging out of the neck
and sleeves of their tight polo) independently wealthy,
(because they want to be able to enjoy life
"with somebody") slim, pretty and discrete
(because Peter Griffin only bangs skinny, beautiful,
stupid chicks). The one's who don't want their partner
to have any "baggage" (like children that live at home
because the 6 children that he/she has don't have a
clue as to where he/she lives).
And finally to those marrieds seeking marrieds,
because it's not cheating if the other person is married
too! (and they couldn't possibly have diseases, they're
MARRIED!)
Oh, and just to touch on the "PLATONIC ONLY" ads,
people please, please look the word up. Platonic people.
Not sex only, not oral only. Platonic. 4th grade word here.
Actually, since I can't count on you looking it up, I will
do it for you. platonic-Free from physical desire; purely
spiritual; free from sensual desire,
especially in a relationship between two persons of
the opposite sex. Enough said. If you want something for free from CL, please keep
in mind...You get what you pay for. I know, that used
70's pea green toilet sounded like a find, but again,
you get what you pay for. You should have prepared
yourself for the need of two cases of gel toilet cleaner
with bleach and the turpentine. And who would have
thought one could find a pair of dentures on CL for
FREE!!! (and they were only missing 3 teeth!) Who
cares if they still had traces of hallowed ground and
the last supper left in them? Ever felt the urge to BARTER for something?! Let me
tell you, the orgasmic feeling that washes over me as
I read the amazing offers is mind-blowing!
Those men that are offering their lawn mowing services
for a mere pittance! Why, ANYONE with a bulldozer or
$150,000 speed boat could have an entire season of
lawn mowing!
How about this one ladies... If you clean this guys house
IN THE NUDE!, he will re-grout your WHOLE tub! How's
THAT for a deal! OR... Ready for this one? No, seriously,
you won't believe you found this! You can have this rare,
1990's Verizon phone in exchange for your 64g I-POD or
I-phone!!(not including battery or charger and as-is)
Don't know about you, but I was real sorry I missed
that one. (no, not so much) Now we take a look at Rants and Raves. Not what it
used to be. Now THAT was some good reading! I used
to be able to go through the entire spectrum of emotions
while popping reeses pieces, until I could no longer see
through my sleep-deprived eyes. Fell in lust with a R&R
poster so full of rage there was no escaping his wrath
no matter what you posted. If he hit traffic on his way
home from work, (yes, he was one of the few employed
R&R posters) you could count on a colorful description
using just about every profanity known to man. He was
a piece of work, an artist! He also turned out to be a
great piece of Penicillin-free ass that left the taste of
Metal in my mouth.
(you know who you are!wink-wink) Now, now. I'm
getting nostalgic and that was not my intention. I am just trying to figure out why it is I feel like the
"Bitter Aunt Edna" everyone tries to avoid at family
gatherings. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING ruffles
my feathers anymore.
Nothing shocks or excites. My response to life is like
an amputated limb. Good for nothing but compost.
Am I alone in this? Is my sarcasm an anomaly?
Anyway. Even this is boring me.
Am I going to turn into one of those people that have
to choke myself to get off or violently murder sweet
and fuzzy animals to be able to feel anything? Okay
Dave, as I understand,
you are the resident know-it-all on CL R&R. Any
comments? I'm sure I will be crucified for my
spelling, grammar, choice of topics... did I leave
anything out? I'm going to grab a Corona, sit back
and wait. Talk to you soon.
Every time I think I have seen it all,
there is something that comes up that should surprise me.
It doesn't. Am I the only one?
Are we collectively desensitized?
Is it my generation?
Life experience maybe?
I don't know. Often there are sincere posts that seem to beg for a kind
response, in turn the poster is criticized for spelling,
grammar, choice of words or topic. I must admit, I have
started to respond to many, only to delete it before I
click on "SEND". I talk myself out of these "e-mail hugs"
with no difficulty. After all, they might not want my
sympathy, advice or shoulder. Just maybe they want
my e-mail address to steal my miserable existence or
shitty credit. You have your serial pet owners. You know, the ones
that "love their pet SO much" but cant take it with them
when they move so they will screen potential adopters
and begrudgingly accept an astronomical "RE-HOMING
FEE". I'd like to cage their worthless asses while I
"RE-HOME" them. Then there is the personals. Yes, I read all the categories.
(It's a good time with the right popcorn that makes me
feel all warm and fuzzy inside.) The women for the most
part, seem desperate and/or brainless, the men,
(999 out of 1000) seem callous and pompous.
I don't think that there is a hope for anyone finding
anything real on CL. The potential for a temporary
piece of ass that will require a good dose of Penicillin
looks really promising though! Perhaps we could gather all the nursing and submissive
men together so the lactating dominatrix women can
find them easily. (and that way, the spanking, sugar
daddies wont feel the need to bully them because of their
mommy issues) Could we also put the rich, man-hating,
angry lesbians with the woman-hating, overworked,
underpaid hetero men? (there is really no match-
making reason for this, I have just found Ultimate
Fighting a tad bit wimpy as of late and thought we
could shake things up a little.) And I'd like to give a
shout out to those people that require their mate to
be physically fit, because THEY workout 5x a week,
(that must be extra muscle hanging out of the neck
and sleeves of their tight polo) independently wealthy,
(because they want to be able to enjoy life
"with somebody") slim, pretty and discrete
(because Peter Griffin only bangs skinny, beautiful,
stupid chicks). The one's who don't want their partner
to have any "baggage" (like children that live at home
because the 6 children that he/she has don't have a
clue as to where he/she lives).
And finally to those marrieds seeking marrieds,
because it's not cheating if the other person is married
too! (and they couldn't possibly have diseases, they're
MARRIED!)
Oh, and just to touch on the "PLATONIC ONLY" ads,
people please, please look the word up. Platonic people.
Not sex only, not oral only. Platonic. 4th grade word here.
Actually, since I can't count on you looking it up, I will
do it for you. platonic-Free from physical desire; purely
spiritual; free from sensual desire,
especially in a relationship between two persons of
the opposite sex. Enough said. If you want something for free from CL, please keep
in mind...You get what you pay for. I know, that used
70's pea green toilet sounded like a find, but again,
you get what you pay for. You should have prepared
yourself for the need of two cases of gel toilet cleaner
with bleach and the turpentine. And who would have
thought one could find a pair of dentures on CL for
FREE!!! (and they were only missing 3 teeth!) Who
cares if they still had traces of hallowed ground and
the last supper left in them? Ever felt the urge to BARTER for something?! Let me
tell you, the orgasmic feeling that washes over me as
I read the amazing offers is mind-blowing!
Those men that are offering their lawn mowing services
for a mere pittance! Why, ANYONE with a bulldozer or
$150,000 speed boat could have an entire season of
lawn mowing!
How about this one ladies... If you clean this guys house
IN THE NUDE!, he will re-grout your WHOLE tub! How's
THAT for a deal! OR... Ready for this one? No, seriously,
you won't believe you found this! You can have this rare,
1990's Verizon phone in exchange for your 64g I-POD or
I-phone!!(not including battery or charger and as-is)
Don't know about you, but I was real sorry I missed
that one. (no, not so much) Now we take a look at Rants and Raves. Not what it
used to be. Now THAT was some good reading! I used
to be able to go through the entire spectrum of emotions
while popping reeses pieces, until I could no longer see
through my sleep-deprived eyes. Fell in lust with a R&R
poster so full of rage there was no escaping his wrath
no matter what you posted. If he hit traffic on his way
home from work, (yes, he was one of the few employed
R&R posters) you could count on a colorful description
using just about every profanity known to man. He was
a piece of work, an artist! He also turned out to be a
great piece of Penicillin-free ass that left the taste of
Metal in my mouth.
(you know who you are!wink-wink) Now, now. I'm
getting nostalgic and that was not my intention. I am just trying to figure out why it is I feel like the
"Bitter Aunt Edna" everyone tries to avoid at family
gatherings. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING ruffles
my feathers anymore.
Nothing shocks or excites. My response to life is like
an amputated limb. Good for nothing but compost.
Am I alone in this? Is my sarcasm an anomaly?
Anyway. Even this is boring me.
Am I going to turn into one of those people that have
to choke myself to get off or violently murder sweet
and fuzzy animals to be able to feel anything? Okay
Dave, as I understand,
you are the resident know-it-all on CL R&R. Any
comments? I'm sure I will be crucified for my
spelling, grammar, choice of topics... did I leave
anything out? I'm going to grab a Corona, sit back
and wait. Talk to you soon.
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