Sigh

Perhaps it's time I stop fighting.

This day to day struggle is exhausting.

What would happen if I just laid in bed?
Who would do the dishes?

Would the world crumble if I didn't run out there to save it?
Lacrosse.
Cheer.
Doctors.
Dentists.
Work.
Shopping.
What if...

So what, someone would have to wipe their own ass.
Maybe someone would have to scrub their own house.

I wouldn't need any money if I just stayed in bed.

Who would help ME?
I don't need electric. Food.
I don't even need a roof over my head.
I could live under a bridge.

Guess the kids will just have to fend for themselves.
The world will have to make do.
Maybe I'll go on strike.
Damn it I'm tired.

I know, I know.
I can hear my mother's voice in my head.
"You can't do that!"
"You have responsibilities!"
"You should have thought about that before you had kids!"
"What good is that going to do you?"
"That's just not how it works."
I know Ma.

I know.

So, I'll continue to torture myself... for the children.
I'll run myself into the ground... for whatever reason.
I'll be bedridden by the time I'm 40 at this rate anyway.
I'm getting up.
I'm getting up.